Ginger, had but one choice left....thank God, it was the RIGHT one!

Hi everybody - my name is Ginger

June 1, 1978 is my DOS...odaat!

They say that hurt people hurt people. This was true for
me. Where does one go when there is no place left to go?
Or when all others seemed to have lost all hope in you.
Nevertheless, most of all you have lost hope in yourself.
All doors seemed to have been slammed in my face.

Or I slammed them shut myself. I could not live one more day
with what I felt and what I did. I was dying. The guilt,
shame, and fears had consumed all my waking hours. Even
the booze could no longer make the thoughts and feelings
disappear. Was this what bottom felt like? I was living a
death in life.

I had managed to push anyone who might have cared far far
away from me with my neediness and control and my
irresponsibilities. I had become the hopeless
professional victim with no hope of change.

I drank and used every waking moment. I was lost, alone,
and hopeless. I lied, I stoled. I cheated. I manipulated.
I hurt every one around me. I did not want to. I did not
know how to stop. I had no choices left in life. Either I
found help or I was going to really kill myself this time.

I thought that there could not be one person in the entire
world like me. 29 years ago I walked into my first recovery
group. In a A.A. 12-step recovery group, I found a hope that
I had never felt before. But first I had to put the booze, down
and admit I was powerless and ask for help.

I had to find a higher power I could live with. Then take the
actions to change one thing. My entire way of looking and
dealing with life others and myself. I had become willing
to pay the price of healthy living. I did not do this
real well the first few years of recovery.

In fact, it took a while for old habits to die and to hold my head
up with dignity and integrity. I have not found it necessary to drink
since June 1st 1978. For this, I am extremely Grateful

God Bless

Ginger - Paltalk nic 'Deginger'